10 things that helped me get over break-up

These worked for me, eventually.  I hope some of them work for you too.

1) Don’t look to your ex for answers, ever. Write down your list of questions if it helps and work through them yourself – you know everything, you have everything you need to help yourself. You do not need anything from your ex.

2) Be ever so kind to yourself, really really important. If it helps picture yourself as a child and extend the same care to yourself that you would if you were a vulnerable child. Be protective, hold yourself, be kind and patient.

3) Learn to cry alone. Sometimes. I know its hard because you just want someone to come and make it better but trust me, no one will ever be able to heal you like you can yourself. When the tears come, let them, welcome the release and don’t always rush to others for support.

4) Find something to get lost in – you will need breaks. Books are great, films sometimes work, GPYP blog, running, whatever works for you and is healthy.

5) When you really hit rock bottom, let yourself. Break – it will be the making of you if you let it.

6) When you really have nothing left, nothing left to help yourself then don’t.  Help others.  Find someone else who needs your help and take a break from your own crap to help them.  Its magic and it will help restore your energy.

7) Find things that make you feel tough, ‘Women who run with the Wolves’ by Clarissa Pinkola Estes did that for me first.  If you have not read it, do.  Other things along the way for me were journalling, running, talking to people, writing on the GPYP blog, volunteering etc.  It took a long time, but eventually they started to restore me to life.

Believe that healing is possible, please.  Cos it really is.  One day you will look back and be shocked as to how low the lows were.  It will not always hurt like this

9) Find something to make you smile, it doesn’t have to be for long. It doesn’t have to be often at the start but everynow and then make it your mission to smile.

10) Don’t feel ashamed.  Own your own crap, not theirs.