Ask yourself why

On GPYP Serenity posted about the ‘Why’ technique.  Basically questioning yourself with why why why why’s (or at least that is how i interpreted it.)  Here is my attempt that i did a few days before our anniversary was coming up.  I was feeling crap and had gone back to crying everyday after weeks of not crying. 

 

Have a go and see where it takes you.  If you want to share feel free

 

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Im sad about next Friday, if we had stayed together it would have been our anniversary.

Why does that make you sad?

Cos I feel like im missing out on being with him, like my life was better when I was with him.  I feel sad that he doesn’t want to spend that special day with me as his girl.

Why do you feel like you are missing out?

Cos he just threw me out of his life with no real explanation or time.  He just withdrew and treated me like I was nothing.  Its made me feel worthless and like im worth nothing – that’s why he rejected me

Why do you feel like you’re worth nothing?

Cos I’ve always felt like that, at my very core I’ve felt not good enough all my life.  To have him confirm that after I let him in so far, its like a whole new source of pain has been cut loose.  I never let anyone in before, certainly not so far. So rejection from him hurts more than I could have imagined.

Why don’t you feel good enough?

Cos I grew up always being made to feel like there was something wrong with me, everything was criticised.  I learnt to make myself tough by not feeling.  I’ve achieved so much in my life but it all seems empty at the moment, nothing feels real.  I hurt.

Why don’t you value your achievements?

I learnt to stop feeling, I just did.  I achieved cos I had no other choice I just did it and did it and did it.  Now I feel everything, every tiny emotion.  Every emotional flaw is under a microscope.  I don’t value them cos they can’t be anything that special if the person I let in looked around at what he saw and didn’t value it enough to stay.  He saw my achievements and chucked me away like I was nothing.